Hot Objects

[Floor Meeting]
Noel: I think I have everything down. Is there anything else you guys want to tell me that I haven’t heard yet?
Guy: This party’s gonna need a good band. I know some bands that are mint. And they’ll come down.
Noel: Yeah. Like I think I’ve said, what, six times now? We’re just gonna have to use CDs and tapes, okay? It’s a university ordinance and as resident advisor, it’s my responsibility.
Guy: I think we should have a band.
Noel: Yeah, I think we’re all very aware of that, and somewhat concerned that you’re not giving it up.
[Guy rolls his eyes.]
Noel: Now I haven’t heard back from the A.V. Department. Uh, does anyone have access to a good sound system?
[Electronic Beeping]
Censa: I can do it.
Noel: You can do what?
Censa: The party. The whole thing. I’ll take care of it.
Noel: The whole party?
Censa: I got a big family. My cousins—I mean it—they’d kill for me.
Noel: We just want to throw a party.
[Pager Beeping]
Censa: I know. I’ll take care of it. You’ll meet Yuri. He’ll get us what we need, okay.
Guy: Like a band.
Noel: Mitch…[sighs]

[Noel’s Dorm]
Noel: You and Ben?
Julie: I know. Can you believe this?
Noel: So—so you like Ben, too?
[Julie nods.]
Noel: Okay, does everybody like Ben. And I’m not asking that rhetorically.
Julie: It’s complicated, though, because I think Ben really likes me.
Noel: Should I be writing this down?
[Julie exhales deeply]
Julie: And this party on Friday, Felicity is so excited about hanging out with Ben.
Noel: Uh-huh.
Julie: But Ben wants to hang out with me, which I think will kill Felicity.
Noel: So, don’t do it.
Julie: I know. Oh, but I really want to.
[Julie falls back on the bed.]
Noel: So you’re really talking to you right now.
Julie: You know what. I think I’m just gonna tell Felicity that Ben keeps asking me out.
Noel: No. No, I wouldn’t do that yet. Because…’cause you’re in this really confused state of mind, and if you do that now, it’ll seem like you’re asking Felicity’s permission to start dating Ben, and that’s not what you want to do.
Julie: No. You’re right. You’re right. [Sits up.] God. No offense, but this really did not help.
Noel: You’re welcome.
Julie: Thank you. And can you just not tell Felicity about this? Because if she knew I told you she likes Ben…
Noel: Oh, it’s okay. I already knew.

[Noel sees Felicity in the hallway.]
Noel: Hey, um, do you got any special requests for the party—you know, food or—or drink or music?
Felicity: How about a copy of “Inorganic Chemistry” by William Garibay?
Noel: Am I supposed to understand that?
Felicity: I used up my entire Metro card today going up to Columbia, down to Hunter, over to the strand, back up to Shakespeare & Company. I’ve been to every Barnes & Noble, every college bookstore. It’s out of stock.
Noel: Just keep repeating the phrase “it’s only college.” It helps sometimes.
[Felicity sighs.]
Noel: So, uh, any special requests for the party?
Felicity: I like chocolate.
Noel: Okay. What kind? Milk? Dark? Nuts? Pieces? Barc? Nestlé’s? Hershey’s?
Felicity: It’s not really party food, though, is it?
Noel: Sure it is. Yeah, I’ll take care of it. Done. Chocolate. Okay. [Starts to leave] Oh, uh, and if you want to special order it, I know the guys in the bookstore. Just…go freak out about your book.
[Felicity laughs.]

[Noel’s dorm]
Yuri: Got sound system, foods, beverages, janitorial—for how many people?
Noel: Uh, maybe…maybe 100.
Yuri: I say 200.
Noel: You—you understand and we don’t have a budget for his party at all?
Yuri: I understand. You should have disco light, yeah?
Censa: He can get whatever we want.
Noel: Uh, yeah. I—I really don’t think we need a disco light.
Yuri: Is party. You need a disco light. Now, for delivery, you have beeper?
Noel: What, like a pager? No.
Yuri: You don’t have beeper?
Censa: Really?
Noel: Guys, not everyone has a beeper, you know.
[Translation]
Yuri: Tomorrow we will talk about it.
[Translation]
Censa: Yuri..thank you.
Yuri: You—I get you beeper.
Noel: Thanks. I don’t need one.
Yuri: You need one.
Noel: Great. Uh, you know what? There is—there is one more thing, and it’s sort of important. Um—
Yuri: You want girls?
Noel: What? [laughs] No. Um..[Clears throat] Do you have access to, uh…to chocolate?

[Door opens to party in hall.]
Censa: Nice, isn’t it?
Noel: Yes, uh, very…it’s very tasteful. Now all we need are some partygoers.
[Music continues]

[Noel knocks on Felicity’s door.]
Noel: Hey so.. [looks at Felicity] God. Wow.
Felicity: Really? [chuckles]
Noel: Oh yeah.
Felicity: Thank you. You look really nice, too.
Noel: Oh. You were kind of obligated to say that, but thank you. Yeah, I feel—I feel handsome.
[Music]
Noel: So I have a question.
Felicity: What?
[Censa: interrupts]
Censa: Um, we’re taking music requests. Do you have anything good?
Felicity: I—I have some stuff over there, but I don’t know if it’s--- [points at dresser] So what was the question?
Noel: Um, well. I—I was—I was wondering. Um…
[Censa: walks past them.]
Censa: Thanks.
Noel: [Chuckles] She’s.. Uh, I just though I’d—I’d, uh, get in line now and ask you…to dance…well in advance of the party actually starting.
Felicity: I’d love that.
Noel: Good. Okay, that—that went exactly how it was supposed to go.
[Chuckles]

[At the party]
Noel: Hey. You care for a beverage.
Felicity: What is it?
Noel: I don’t know.
[Ben walks in, and the music fades. Felicity watches Ben and Julie. Noel stares at Felicity.]
Censa: Hey there’s a guy over there who’s getting pretty damned sick.
Noel: What?
Censa: You’d better come check this out.
Noel: I’ll be right back.

[Later in the hall after the party is over.]
Noel: Hey. [sniffles] I, uh…I heard about that, uh.
Felicity: Could we not talk about it?
Noel: Yeah sure. [clears throat]
[indistinct voices]
Felicity: Thanks for the chocolate.
Noel: So we’ll, uh, take a rain check on that dance, which is okay.